what’s popping, jimbo?

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[theweirdwideweb]

[kallistoi]

[image description: a video of a wild hog running along the side of the road. it’s set to a bit of “dog days are over” by florence + the machine. it goes, “run fast for your mother, fast for your father / run for your children, for your sisters and brothers / leave all your love and your longing behind /  you can’t carry it with you if” before getting cut off.]

[sepiascissors]

I used to think that they would run like horses but no, they run like deer

Chubby short deer

[victor-the-gay-bitch]

GO WHITE BOY GO

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like

Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-

Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

There are, at every turn, adults trying to help Kevin. He is not trapped in that house, he goes shopping like three times. He convinces the pizza delivery guy that there’s an old guy there trying to murder him. Kevin knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing and what he is doing is psychological warfare

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Petition to make Home Alone a PG-13 movie at LEAST so the Wet Bandits can call Kevin a little shit on-screen

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Actually no. Rated R. I want to watch Kevin kill a man

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

It started out as a random burglary but the SECOND Kevin shot that dude in the dick it became personal

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

I just realized that like. Until the end of the movie Kevin never figured out his family straight up forgot him at home. He truly thought he had fucking magicked them away with his wish that night and that he had magic powers. No wonder the kid was so full of hubris with those robbers he had the power of God and Santa on his side

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Okay movie’s over. I have unironically and genuinely come to the conclusion that Kevin is a child prodigy and will possibly the most intelligent person on the planet once he’s full grown. Not only is he able to outsmart the Wet Bandits (great name), he outmaneuvers the police, shoplifts at least once, and rigs up multiple contraptions including a fake house party, a get-chickened fan+feather combo, and a homemade door-activated flamethrower. He does this all while convincing everybody that he’s just a tiny helpless kid.

In fact, at the beginning of the movie, Kevin has his entire extended family convinced he’s so helpless he can’t even pack a suitcase. I bet him attacking Bud and getting sent to his room early was a ploy to keep from having to share the bed with his bed-wetting cousin. At the end of the movie, one of his cousins says something like “Kevin went shopping? He can’t even tie his shoelaces!” This kid is playing his entire family like puppets and they have no idea

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Like hell it does, that is reads like a 6k post at best. There’s no bit, no clown to gang up on. This post plays into the website’s deep appreciation of Kevin McAllister and his sadism but that can only take us so far. Study tumblr theory and come back to be the clown this post will ride to 40k if you truly want to bring us to victory. And also me to deep shame for having a viral post about Kevin fucking McAllister

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Watching you suspiciously. Have I made myself the clown of the post again I cannot be three for three on this dude

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

Hey what are you doing. Hey.

[puppygirlfish]

Heritage Post

[aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202]

THIS POST HAS BEEN AROUND LESS THAN TWENTY FOUR HOURS

[teawitch]

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[parotcardsroxy]

they should invent a phrase as evocative as im going to kill myself that isnt about killing yourself

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[shetheyslay]

Best George w bush quotes

“I think we agree the past is over”

“They misunderestimated me”

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully”

“Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?”

“Working hard to put food on your family”

“I just want you to know when we talk about war we’re really talking about peace

Too many OBGYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women across the county

Ourenemies never stop thinkin of new ways to harm our country and neither do we

“I don’t need to explain why I say things”

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me - you can’t get fooled again”

[shetheyslay]

Some gems that from the notes that I missed/were too long to put as an answer

[anarchistmemecollective]

“if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be”

“i am not a tree. i am a bush”

[anarchistmemecollective]

ALT

trust me we felt the same way at the time

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[millipedegf]

run rabbit

insta

[millipedegf]

unlucky

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[brzatto]

the original got deleted but i finally managed to find a screenshot of the tweet that’s been living in my mind since july of last year

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

Anonymous asked:

can't have a palette called baby bitch and NOT give it to sasuke tbh!

oneswordstyle answered:

this palette suits him so well uh oh :’))

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[pimientosdulces]

🌙

[ID: Digital art of Sasuke from Naruto. He is wearing his first Shippuden outfit, altered slightly so that the articles are subtly patterned with purple and blue and the bell sleeves are very long. He has one hand on his hip, and the other rests on his sword. He is wearing a red earring and red eyeliner, and a white circle backs his head. End ID]

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[drizzledrawings]

ALT

Lesbian cowboys anyone?

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[wonderlab]

[moth-yknowtheartist]

@marine-beats

HELPME

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[taboovithehomecoming]

did anyone else watch the show “the most extreme” on animal planet. what was that green shit about.

[taboovithehomecoming]

these are all real screenshots from “the most extreme”

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[kaity--did]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse ™ around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

[kaity--did]

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

[kaity--did]

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

[procrastinatorkimberlygrey]

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

[kaity--did]

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

Anonymous asked:

If you could turn any ancient artifact into a bong, what would you choose?

thoodleoo answered:

this thing i think

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[hollowboobtheory]

you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

[hollowboobtheory]

everyone shut up except this person

[what’s popping, jimbo?]

[godwolf30]

[puzzleddragon02]

[Image ID: screenshot of the text "All I'm saying is don't give me a severe thunderstorm warning and then not deliver." End image ID.]